A dear friend once said,
“Unless you have wrestled
With your own questions,
You will not be able
to sit with others and their questions.”[1]
But my questions,
They are so many.
And my wrestling,
They do not seem to end.
Questions, they overwhelm me
Questions, they weigh heavy on me.
“Trust in God,” He said,
“trust also in me,”
Does it mean
I get into action?
Or do I listen
To that still small voice
Asking me to wait
For the right timing
And the right task?
“Love your neighbor as yourself,” He said
How can I love well
Without feeling the suffering
And the pain of my neighbor?
I do not like the pain,
I run away from suffering.
Oh the answers, they are all there,
Crystal clear,
They pop in my head,
At the same time as the questions,
The well-quoted verses,
The beautifully composed lyrics,
All fitting well
Like well-dressed people.
But I need more
I need answers,
That’ll calm the storm.
I need answers,
That’ll heal the ache,
Answers that will be,
Like the gaze of His eye,
That tell me it is ok
Ok to have no answers
To all of my questions
Because
In the questioning, is the answer.
In the wrestling, an embrace.
By Lydia Royce
Photo by Aqib Shahid on pexels.com
[1] Trevor Hudson, author of Discovering Our Spiritual Identity, at a lecture on Spiritual Accompaniment